Deepest Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Deepest Gratitude to all Buddhas, Bodhisattvas and Dharma Protectors!
Deepest Gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu!
Good afternoon to all Buddhist friends.
Thank you for the opportunity to share with you my personal experience after practising Buddhism and how it turned around my once hostile family relationship to a harmonious one.
Prior to my practice, conflicts and squabbles had always been an ‘integral’ part of my family life.
My relationship with my mother was tense. In my eyes, she was domineering akin to an overbearing matriarchal figure who was fond of dictating things. I felt that as a grown-up, I should be given the liberty to travel with my friends but this was not the case to be. I was aggrieved to say the least.
In the early days of my Buddhism practice with Guan Yin Citta, I was all alone as there was no one else that I could get in touch with in Cambodia. I literally had to rely on fellow practitioners from abroad to send me the necessary Buddhism materials.
I spent my free time watching or tuning in Master Lu’s on-line programs. The view at the dharma conventions – where Buddhist practitioners from all over the world congregate and immerse themselves in dharma bliss – was a sight to behold. Deep down, I so yearned to be one of them.
Hoping for some moral support, I told my family about taking my first baby steps towards Buddhism practice. Contrary to my expectation, all that I got were stares in disbelief. Feeling uneasy, I knew that they were going to give me a hard time yet again. Not surprisingly, my mother was the first to fire the salvo and she rattled off, “What’s the point of performing recitation of the Buddhist scriptures when you are not even a nun?”
Out of sheer concern, my grandmother said, “It’d be tough for you to find your other half if you adopt a vegetarian lifestyle and practise Buddhism. For the sake of your future, I’d urge you to reconsider your decision.”
Under my mother’s nudging, I kept receiving calls from relatives whom I hardly met, advising me not to be overzealous in my Buddhism practice and there wasn’t a need to change my lifestyle. In their view, an occasional visit to the temple would suffice.
The bombardment of criticisms literally felt like rubbing salt in the wound. I was enraged beyond words. I reasoned with myself, “What wrong did I do to deserve this?”
This set me off to seek ‘justice’ for myself, all geared up for a tit-for-tat fight. Every day, I would return home with so much pent-up negative emotions. As soon as my mother made an attempt to coax me into not practising Buddhism, I would almost immediately lash out, brushing off what Master Lu said about harmony and tolerance.
I long knew that I could recite the Heart Sutra and the Mantra to Untie Karmic Knots for my family members so that they could gain wisdom and pose less of an obstruction in my quest to practise Buddhism. But, I refused to give in to them as I told myself, “To begin with, it is not my fault but theirs. I don’t see any reason whatsoever to recite the Buddhist scriptures for them.” Ignorant and obstinate to the core, I was persistent to fight tooth and nail just to prove my ‘point’.
With the blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, Cambodia finally opened its first Guan Yin Practice Centre. This was when I made my initial contacts with other Buddhist practitioners. Not only is the Practice Centre a place where I feel I truly belong, it is also a place where I can learn from other like-minded fellow practitioners.
During those exchanges with Buddhist friends, it started to dawn on me that I was not the only one facing family objections in my Buddhism practice. In fact, many of them faced strong family resistance. Instead of going down the route of a head-on confrontation with their families – which I did – they heeded Master Lu’s advice and viewed their family members under the light of empathy, compassion and understanding. In doing so, they are able to blend in harmoniously with their families and ward off unnecessary conflicts.
A Buddhist friend shared with me about the benefits of reciting the Heart Sutra for our loved ones – not only does it help eradicate family objections to our Buddhism practice, it will also accelerate the ripening of their karmic affinities with Buddhism. With the encouragement of Buddhist friends, I started to pore over relevant discourses pertaining to this subject matter.
Master Lu once said, “Hindrances from family members in our Buddhism practice are a manifestation of our karmic obstacles. In the face of such obstacles, as Buddhist practitioners, we must apply the right method to quell these impediments so that we are not estranged from our family”.
This marked the start of my transformation. First and foremost, I worked on myself by regulating my mindset and mend my ways. I looked for ways and opportunities to treat my parents better. Besides finding time to help out with household chores, I learned to subdue myself in my daily interactions with my family members. On a daily basis, I recited the Heart Sutra for my mother and the Mantra to Untie Karmic Knots for several of my family members.
With my positive transformation, I became less of a receiving end of reprimands at home. By not rebuking or counter arguing, arguments became noticeably shorter in length. By exercising forbearance and tolerance, I was able to avert many of the potential emotional outbursts. This invaluable experience awakened me to the fact that forbearance is indeed an ingenious method that is capable of quelling our karmic grievances.
At that time, an overseas dharma convention was fast approaching and I had signed up as a volunteer. I was apprehensive about it as there was a risk that my mother would spoil my plan. After all, she had previously frowned upon the idea of me joining some friends for a domestic tour in Cambodia. In light of this, I implored Guan Yin Bodhisattva so that my wish would be granted.
Shortly after the prayer, I had a dream indicating that I needed to offer seven Little Houses for my mother. On the second day, I made a vow to offer seven Little Houses to resolve my negative karmic affinity with my mother. Miraculously, after offering the said number of Little Houses, my mother gave me the green light. She even advised me to stay safe during the trip.
Upon returning home from the dharma convention, I transferred a portion of the merits accrued from my volunteering work to my parents so that they would gain some wisdom. The effect was almost instantaneous! Unlike the past, when I had to give all sorts of excuses to visit the Practice Centre, I can now visit it without having to resort to a convenient lie.
I also go the extra mile to find good vegetarian restaurants and take the trouble to buy some delicious foods for my family. Even my younger brother has heaped sincere praises on those vegetarian dishes.
Looking back in retrospect, a lot has changed for the better compared with the initial days when I embarked on my Buddhism practice. For this, I am deeply grateful to Master Jun Hong Lu for his teachings and guidance. I’d also like to express my heartfelt appreciation to all Buddhist friends for their tireless support!
While my family members do not reject Buddhism, none of them has yet to embark on their Buddhism practice. Notwithstanding, I strongly believe the day will come when they start embracing Buddhism as a way of life with blessings from Guan Yin Bodhisattva. To ripen their affinity with Buddhism, I have been sowing and I am determined to keep sowing the seeds of ‘cause’ for them.
As Buddhist practitioners, before pointing fingers at our loved ones for being ignorant, we should first reflect on ourselves and assess our own level of spiritual cultivation. After all, family objections could also depict our lack of positive karmic causes planted in our past lives.
My personal encounter speaks volumes of the importance of steadfastly applying Master’s teachings in quelling obstacles impeding our spiritual cultivation journey. We should avoid applying our personal and unproven approach as we may end up attracting animosity of others.
If my sharing today is improper in any way, I seek forgiveness from Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Dharma Protectors!
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