It is no use trying to justify
what you have done,
as everything is attributed to
the working of karma.
You will be liberated once you can think straight and free yourself from suffering. Desire is like a rope which ties you up and entangles your mind.
You will be truly liberated when you can break free from fame, gain and status.
人间没有道理可讲，一切都是因果， 想通了、不痛苦了就是解脱。欲望如绳子把你绑住，绑在你的心上， 一切名利地位， 要先解开脱离，你才能真正解脱。
Master Jun Hong Lu, Words of Wisdom Volume 4