Testimony Sharing

Guan Yin Citta Allowed Me To Find My Spiritual Abode And Solve My Marital Problem

19/04/2020 | 同修分享 Testimony Sharing    
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Deepest gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva

Deepest gratitude to all Buddhas, Bodhisattvas and Dharma Protectors

Deepest gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu

Today I would like to share with all of you my experience and the miraculous happenings during my journey of practising Guan Yin Citta of more than two years. Deepest gratitude to Bodhisattva and Master Lu for allowing me to understand the true meaning of life, to firmly believe in the law of causality and to help me find my spiritual abode.

At the end of 2016, I learned that my husband was involved in an extra-marital affair. The woman was pregnant and he wanted to divorce me. Holding my young son who is less than one year old in my arms, the pain I felt was beyond words. I couldn’t believe a man who had been so loving towards my child and me would do such a thing to us.

The joy from the birth of my son, our aspiration for the future had since then, shattered into pieces. I was like a walking corpse back then. I was both angry and resentful but i just did not want to get divorced. I became very quiet and I just could not bring myself to face the reality.

I went around seeking advice from fortune tellers and spend so much money to find experts help me resolve this issue, only to be disappointed. Luckily, it was during this time that I stumbled in Master Lu’s blog – that was the start of my affinity with Guan Yin Citta.

Under the guidance of the volunteers, I began my daily recitation of Buddhist scriptures and Little House. That very night, I dreamed that there were spirits of an old lady and a child attached to my husband. A few days later, things began to change dramatically. My husband learned that the woman’s pregnancy was nothing but a bogus conspiracy for him to obtain a divorce.

Under the guidance of the volunteers, I began my daily recitation of Buddhist scriptures and Little House. That very night, I dreamed that there were spirits of an old lady and a child attached to my husband. A few days later, things began to change dramatically. My husband learned that the woman’s pregnancy was nothing but a bogus conspiracy for him to obtain a divorce.

However, the Buddha said that everything is impermanent. As for Master Lu, he mentioned that in this age of Dharma Decline, a couple’s negative affinities generally outnumbered their positive ones. All of these had turned out to be true. I found my happiness had soon come to an end.

2017 marks a year with predestined calamity for me. My negative affinity with my husband seemed to have come to fruition in the same year. I was pregnant again in June. Sadly, this news did not bring any joy to the family. At the early stage of my pregnancy, my husband kept swearing at me.

Coupled with my morning sickness, my mood could not get any worse. During this darkest moments of my life, I was very grateful to Master Lu as many a time he had come into my dream to bless my child and me.

My husband’s betrayal and his negative attitude towards me had made me extremely hateful, even though Bodhisattva had reminded me many times through my dreams that these were the results of the cause and effect of past lives. There was once, through my thoughts, Bodhisattva had told me, “My child, since whatever that had happened could not be undone, what’s the point of you holding on to it?”

At that time, my understanding of the Dharma was very shallow and I did not have enough wisdom. Hence, it was impossible for me to understand the words of the Bodhisattva. I still couldn’t let go. I was in a foul mood all the time. Not long after, I dreamed of receiving blessings from Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva (Di Zang Wang Pusa). Only then, I could put aside my ego, rediscover my Buddha nature, and started to lament the game of cyclical rebirth.

I started to use my pregnancy as an excuse to slack in daily recitation. I also outsourced the Little House that I needed. In December, my karmic obstacles came to fruition. Suddenly, I started to bleed and was admitted to the hospital immediately. The doctor said that my placenta was too low, and there were root vessels in the cervix. If the blood vessels ruptured, they had only five minutes to rescue the baby. Hence, I was advised to stay in the hospital.

I was bleeding almost every week when I got admitted and I was in a state of fear every single day. The worst happened during my baby’s 31st week when I suffered from a major haemorrhage. The doctors were ready to perform an emergency caesarean section at that time. I sought help from the Buddhist friends from the local practice centre and overseas to help me recite the Great Compassion Mantra.

I sincerely prayed for the blessing of Bodhisattva and a few minutes later, the bleeding suddenly stopped.

A Buddhist friend helped me to get through to Master Lu’s radio program. Master Lu pointed out where my problem lies. He said Bodhisattva had already given me her blessings. It seemed that I had failed to help the child whom I had aborted to ascend to a higher spiritual realm. Although I had offered a good number of Little House, I was neither penitent nor remorseful. In the past, I had taken my relationship very lightly and was irresponsible.

I have had a few abortions and had lots of impure thoughts. Master Lu warned me that my condition did not look very positive. He advised me to seek help from Bodhisattva and to make great vows and at the same time be mentally prepared for the worst.

On the second day at dawn, I dreamt of a big school. Master Lu said to me: “Do you know where you have erred? You stole from someone in your previous life.” In the dream, I could feel that once again Master Lu had blessed my child and me. After that, my condition was stabilised until the baby was born on the 37th week. I was the only one in the ICU who managed to give birth at full term and not having to stay in the ICU.

Deepest gratitude to our heavenly mother,

Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu!

Not forgetting the Buddhist friends who took turns to help me offer the Little Houses during my stay in the hospital. I also need to thank the Buddhist friends from China whom I don’t even know in person but who had helped me perform life liberation every week until my child was born.

During my stay in the hospital, I sincerely repent for my sexual misconduct and recited Little House for both my karmic creditor and my aborted children.

Master Lu said, our fellow Buddhist friends are indeed our family. The ones who would be with us to the end are not our family members but our fellow Buddhist friends. I couldn’t agree more. When I was in the emergency at the hospital, my husband once again started another affair. During my stay at the hospital, he had gone for a vacation with his new found love.

He did not care less about me, in fact he was extremely cold towards me. I have already accepted the fact that I was to repay my debts of affection in this lifetime. The karmic force had resulted in me not being able to let go of my relationship with my husband. I still held hope and his every move could still affect my frame of mind. I was still looking forward to the day when everything would be alright so that I could offer my children a warm family environment.

In 2017, my understanding of Buddhism was only limited to the need to recite Little House. However, the many things that had happened to me in 2018 had given me a more profound understanding of what Buddhism was all about. Although the road to learning Buddhism that year was not a smooth sailing one, however with the blessings of Bodhisattva, I was glad to be able to break through all obstacles.

In 2018, I suffered from strain relationships not only with my husband, but also my mother-in-law and maid. My husband would threaten to divorce me for the slightest grievance that arise. His lover even sent love letters and gifts to our house. Things got out of control when my husband started to physically abuse me. He would punch and kick me.

I was living in fear all the time because of this threat. However, I clench my teeth and endured. There was only one thought in my mind – he could treat me any way he wished, as long as he did not hinder me from learning Buddhism and participating in the Dharma Convention.

The trials and tribulations that I experienced has made me more diligent in my spiritual cultivation and recitation. I persisted in the recitation of five Little Houses per day, studied Buddhism in Plain Terms, listened to Master Lu’s discourses, learn from fellow Buddhist friends, volunteered at the practice centre and in Dharma Convention, and last but not least continued to share the Buddha’s teachings on the internet.

The power of meritorious blessing is unimaginable. As my karmic obstacles were gradually eliminated, I began to improve on my wisdom little by little. I seemed to understand now that it was my own mind that had been hindering me all this while. I was afraid of losing, afraid that my family would break up, afraid that my children would grow up in an incomplete family.

Because I had hung all my expectations on one single person, I was at his mercy and always in a state of worry. If we insist on the things that were not meant to be ours, negative affinities would definitely follow. On the contrary, if we put our heart in the hands of the Bodhisattva, we would have a peace of mind and be at ease. I finally got over it. I know it was time to let go and I have decided to let go.

One day, because of a very minor matter, my husband became violent towards me and threatened to divorce me. I felt I was exhausted both physically and mentally at that time and I said to him, “Go find a lawyer then, I shall respect your wishes”. He was stunned, paused for a while and told me he did not really want to divorce me, considering our two children were still so young.

He then said, as long as I tend to our children, I could do whatever I want with regards to my Buddhism practice. From that moment on, it was as if the weight on me had been lifted. I was free to go to the practice centre and participate in Master Lu’s Dharma Convention.

I was exhilarated!

This was the wisdom that Bodhisattva had given me. I am especially grateful to Buddhist friends who had always encouraged me, gave me confidence and helped me overcome a major obstacle in my mind. I also did a self-reflection – I was inadequate in many aspects. I was too willful, selfish, and highly self-opinionated. I lacked a sense of gratitude and rarely considered the feelings of others.

I repented sincerely for the hatred I have held inside me. I kept telling myself that for all the maltreatments I have had from them, they were due to the cause that I have sown.  Even if it seemed that others were in the wrong, however, we have to admit that we had our share of karmic obstacles.

I am grateful to my husband and mother-in-law who have been doing their best to take care of the family and my children. I am especially grateful to my mother-in-law who took care of me like her own daughter. I am also grateful to my maid who did her best to take care of my children and the housework.

I persisted in reciting the Mantra to Untie Karmic Knots for my husband, I also recited the Heart Sutra so that he would have wisdom and Little House for his karmic creditor. I dreamt his karmic creditor telling me that she was the one who had caused the outburst every time my husband was violent towards me. Through applying the Four Golden Buddhist Practices, my relationship with my husband had gradually improved and most importantly, he had learnt to respect me.

I hope that my fellow Buddhist friends would learn from my mistake. Abortion is a no-no; do not fool with the feelings of others. Do not look at the injustice that we suffered from the superficial level. Please understand that behind every swearing, there might be ‘someone’ who is there to collect karmic debts. We would have to be diligent in our recitation and our Buddhism studies on a day to day basis and to sincerely repay our karmic debts.

Karmic force is like a shark. Only when we ceaselessly accumulate meritorious blessings, we could escape from any possible calamities.

Secondly, I would like to share how through Bodhisattva’s blessing I was able to settle a loan of more than SGD200,000, and got myself an ideal job. Master Lu mentioned that those who commit sexual misconduct would not have a good career. My husband’s business was not good for the last two years.

As for me, I lost my job when I was hospitalised for two months when giving birth to my daughter. As I failed to appreciate my good fortune, I incurred a huge debt on my credit card. At the time, my family had a debt which amounted to more than $200,000.

If we failed to pay up the said loan, our house may be seized by the bank. I stood in front of the Buddhist altar and prayed for blessings so that my children and I would have a stable home. On the same day, our heavenly mother came to my dream. In the dream, my house was surrounded by rays of golden light.

I know very well that Bodhisattva had been blessing us. I am no longer worried. There is only one thought in me i.e. as long as I was diligent in performing recitation, repaying my karmic debts and eliminate my karmic obstacles, our heavenly mother will surely bless my children and me. After that, everything seemed to fall into place. Both my husband’s and my debt was settled without a hitch.

In 2018, after I lost my job, I wanted to start my own business. However, it was the right time and I was lacking in experience. At that a thought came through me: if only I could find a job that was relevant, I would be able to accumulate the experience that I needed. True enough, Guan Yin Bodhisattva had arranged such a job for me, Its working hours was very flexible and my salary was $1,000 more than my last job!

The company had arranged my business trip on June 3, and this date had clashed with the Brisbane Dharma Convention. I trust that as long as we have the resolution, Guan Yin Bodhisattva would have all the arrangement done for us. At the end of May, the company informed me that the training was rescheduled to June 11, which was two days after the Dharma Convention.

Deepest gratitude to the Greatly Merciful, Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!

I felt really ashamed that I have done so little and yet Bodhisattva had given so much; I have wronged so many times and yet she had not given up on me – always holding my hands helping me overcome one hurdle after another.

None of us are spared from the sufferings and difficulties in life – whether it is a physical problem or an emotional one; whether we face problem with our children or the elderly at home; whether it is a family problem or problem at work. Master Lu said, the human realm is a realm of vexations. We have come to this world with limitless worries.

However, it is these worries that will help ‘accomplished’ us as only when we are troubled that we would seek help and learn from Bodhisattva, understand the importance of spiritual cultivation and to persevere on this Buddha’s path – hence, it is said, with troubles come enlightenment. The world can never be perfect. However, it is from the imperfection that we cultivate the spiritual perfection in us.

Practising Buddhism has allowed me to change my fate and destiny, gain wisdom and I thank the Buddha’s teachings for giving me a new breath of life.

Should my sharing today is improper in any way, I seek the forgiveness of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and all Dharma Protectors.

Thank you.

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