About Marital and Relationship IssuesBuddhism Your Questions Answered (171 FAQ)

Q&A 3. How do you resolve conflicts in marriage or in a relationship?

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Q: Master Lu, how do we resolve “predestined conflicts”— conflicts between couples or conflicts in marriage? We follow the instruction of your Buddhist practice— Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door—to recite sutras and mantras. But I still cannot wrap my head around the issue. I recite the Mantra to Untie Karmic Knots every day, but still hope that you could give us a clear solution to this problem.  “Predestined conflicts” in relationships can be damaging, as I’ve seen many couples around me breaking up because of them.


“Predestined conflicts” between married couples do exist. If the result of fortune-telling confirms that a husband and his wife are in conflict based on both their birth dates, you could consider employing the following methods to resolve the conflict:

  • First, it’s recommended that the couple sleep in different rooms.
  • Each person should recite the Mantra to Untie Karmic Knots 21 or 49 times per day to resolve their karmic conflicts.
  • The rate of effectiveness for resolving a couple’s conflicts by reciting the following sutras and mantras could be around 50% (results vary from person to person):
    • Recite the Heart Sutra for each other 7 or 21 times per day.
    • Recite the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance to repent and eliminate the karmic obstacles that lead to the conflict in marriage or in a relationship.
  • If the situation has not been turned around after practising all the above-mentioned methods for quite some time, you will need to recite Little Houses for each other. Address the Little Houses to the “Karmic Creditor of <your partner’s name>”. You can recite more Little Houses if necessary.
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