SINCERELY REPENT TO AWAKEN YOUR TRUE SELF
Master Jun Hong Lu: When someone apologises to you and you refuse to accept his apology, you are actually breaking the code of morality. Hence, when forgiveness is sought, you must grant it or else, you are deemed not a true Buddhist practitioner who has broken the precepts.
This is because when you reject an apology, you will lose your soft-heartedness and compassion and you are bidding farewell to your sense of sympathy and your delicate and good moral virtue.
Refusing to accept an apology denotes the existence of hatred in your heart, which explains why you cannot bring yourself to forgive.
On the contrary, those who are truly forgiving harbour no hatred whatsoever. We must force ourselves to accept others’ apologies. When receiving apologies, many people say, “It’s okay, forget it”, but in reality, they still can’t get over it and are unable to get the hatred out of their heart.
On the other hand, when a Buddhist practitioner is at the receiving end of an apology, he will think, “He has realised his mistake and is regretting it. That’s not easy to come by. Come to think of it, all he did was make that inconsequential remark. It is no big deal, and I should forgive him.” Having compassion prevents you from hurting yourself.
For example, you say sorry to someone, but she refuses to forgive you. On your part, you will not be affected as you have said your piece and therefore you feel relieved. She, on the other hand, bottles up her anger which, over time, may even cause her to fall ill.
This is why we must learn to forgive others because we will build compassion in our heart when we do so. Those who cannot forgive have an ominous glint in their eyes. At times when I scold some of you and for those of you who can’t accept my criticism, they will shoot daggers with their eyes!
Source: Master Jun Hong Lu’s Buddhism In Plain Terms, Volume 5 Chapter 36
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