Deepest gratitude to Namo Shakyamuni Buddha!
Deepest gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Deepest gratitude to all Buddhas, Bodhisattvas and Dharma Protectors!
Deepest gratitude to Master Jun Hong Lu!
Standing before all of you today, I would like to share how my Buddhist practice has helped resolve the karmic grievances between my family and I. It was a journey riddled with opposition at the outset to an eventual acceptance of my Buddhist practice.
Before I start, I would like to seek forgiveness from Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Dharma Protectors if my sharing today is improper in any way.
2014 was the year that I chanced upon Guan Yin Citta and January 2015 marked the beginning of my recitation of Buddhist scriptures. Soon after, I was constantly racing against time, getting up at 5am thereabouts, to start performing recitation. I could hardly squeeze out time to even talk to my husband. To me, going out with him for a meal would be a waste of time.
Unexpectedly, one day, my husband admonished me by saying, “Is your Buddhist practice making you mental?” It hit me right away that I had caused him to have a negative opinion about Buddhism. Not surprisingly, he frowned upon the idea of me becoming a volunteer at the Practice Centre. Out of no choice, I secretly became a volunteer, and made use of his absence to perform recitation and on a daily basis, I recited 49 times of the Mantra to Untie Karmic Knots and seven times of the Heart Sutra for him.
From the many program recordings of our Master, I am cognisant of the importance of protecting family members from committing karma of speech. Otherwise, we are also bound to shoulder the karmic obstacle. To the many people who face family objections to their Buddhist practice, Master Lu always has this to say, “You must first conduct yourself like a Bodhisattva as only then others will have faith in you. Family objection is a manifestation of your own karmic obstacles”. In hope of making my husband support my Buddhist practice, I told myself that I must put in my best effort to transform myself.
My husband and I had always quarrelled over trivial household chores such as whose turn it was to discard the rubbish, wash the dishes, clean the toilet, and etc. It was an eye-opening experience to see how volunteers at the Practice Centre ‘jostled’ each other to get the opportunity to do these tasks, and yet, here we are, my husband and I, squabbling over the same thing. Come to think of it, we were nothing but foolish. Resolute to transform myself, I stopped complaining and I would do any household chores.
Once, my husband stumbled upon my volunteer shirts and asked what they were for. I told him the truth and he did not probe further. Deep down, I knew that he tacitly accepted my volunteering work. Deepest gratitude to Bodhisattva!
Sometime in 2018, my husband started to accept my Buddhist practice. Once, after having a meal outside with his friends, when my husband returned home, he shared that his friends commented about Guan Yin Citta being an unrighteous dharma door. In return, I asked, “After so many years of Buddhist practice, do you think I have turned evil or righteous?” He responded, “Righteous”.
On a subsequent occasion, I suddenly realised how clean our toilet was. When asked, he divulged that he learned how to clean toilets when he was in the army. From that day onwards, he would automatically wash the dishes. On a separate occasion, I was deeply gratified when he prepared a basin of hot water for me to soak my feet. Deep down, I knew that it was the changes that he saw in me that moved him.
At the outset of my Buddhist practice in 2015, I had always harboured the hope of setting up a Buddhist altar at home. Unfortunately, my husband had always disapproved of it. To be specific, he opposed the idea three times. Master Lu once said, “One must have sufficient fortune and virtue to be able to set up a Buddhist altar in one’s home”. My hunch told me that I am still lacking in these two aspects, so I decided to continue to persevere to transform myself, focus on eliminating my karmic obstacles and never let any grievances dwell in my heart.
Right before the Covid-19 pandemic, I had a dream and in the dream, a friend of my husband said, “It’s chaotic outside, please put on this talisman of Guan Yin Bodhisattva”. I shared my dream with my husband with the intent of bringing up the idea of setting up a Buddhist altar at home. I prayed to Bodhisattva at the Practice Centre and then talked to him again about it. I couldn’t believe my ears when he finally gave me the green light! I was jumping with joy!
I asked him to submit an electronic application to the Practice Centre for the purpose of setting up a home Buddhist altar since this was something that I did not know how to do. In the course of preparing for the setup of the Buddhist altar, my husband had the opportunity to interact with the volunteers at the Practice Centre. He commented, “The Practice Centre is impressive and very different compared to other places”.
On the day of the set up, I was filled with a sense of gratitude for all the help extended to me by fellow practitioners who were quietly supporting me. Their dignified personality has touched my husband.
My husband caught sight of a sentence, printed on the greeting script, that says one can make his vows accordingly. This set him into thinking as to what he could make a vow on. At last, he decided to make the vow that he would offer incense on the Buddhist altar daily. From that day onwards till now, he has been consistently offering incense on a daily basis, and has since started performing recitation of the Great Compassion Mantra. Deepest gratitude to the Practice Centre and my fellow practitioners.
Once, when my mother-in-law’s sister visited us, pointing at the Buddhist altar, my husband exclaimed, “Take a look at this Buddhist altar, it is different compared to others. Look at how marvellous the yellow landscape painting is!” I knew right away that from the bottom of his heart, he had approved of Guan Yin Citta. Deepest gratitude to Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Presently, after offering incense on the Buddhist altar, my husband will tune into the daily production of “Early Shuttle of Buddhism Learning” (学佛早班车). I am grateful to this daily production because it is where my husband learns many Buddhist principles of which he will put into practice to transform himself, something that I am unable to convince him to do on a personal level.
Once, he overheard Master reveal that every single foul word committed will be recorded by the Underworld. This piqued his interest and he asked me, “This is really strict? We can’t even make a casual remark?” I told him, “The moment these words are blurted, you sow the seeds and you have to pay for it”. From that day onwards, I have not heard him use any foul language.
That’s not the only change that I see in him. Unlike the past when he disapproved of me volunteering at the Practice Centre, now, even if something crops up at home, and I suggest that I take the day off from my volunteering, he would not agree. He will say, “You’d better go for your volunteer work, I should not stop you from doing something meritorious. I surely don’t wish to go down on my luck!”.
Every now and then, I will have had a slip of tongue and criticise others, it is on such occasions that he will remind me by saying, “You are now practising Buddhism full time, whereas I’m only doing it part time. You are very diligent in your practice and hence, you should not commit any karma of speech, otherwise the effort you put into performing daily recitation will go down the drain”.
On a separate occasion, we were talking about other people’s affairs only to stop simultaneously very soon after and we exclaimed, “Why should we even commit this negative karma of speech?” In that instance, I could feel that our hearts are bound together. Since we are walking the path of the Buddha, we should not comment on other people’s matters.
Come to think of it, it really feels like our life as a couple has just begun because it is only after our Buddhist practice that we started to take into consideration the perspective of our other half, and most importantly, we are always thankful for each other. Prior to this, we spent a decade or so as a couple squabbling over trivial matters, pointing fingers at each other. Looking back, that period of our life was nothing but a joke.
Separately, my cultivation has also helped resolve the karmic grievances between my mother-in-law and I, and it has over time cured my depression. For a while after my marriage, my husband and I lived under the same roof as my mother-in-law. She has the habit of using thinner to clean the kitchen and laundry soap powder to wash dishes. There was no way that I could stop her from doing so. Even if I were to throw those items away, she would not hesitate to buy new ones.
It started off with all these inconsequential matters and over time, they morphed into a major conflict between my mother-in-law and I. It goes without saying, we had had heated exchanges and they happened so very often that eventually my mother-in-law and us decided to live separately. She might have left us alone, but by then, depression had crept on me. I suffered from sleeping disorders and I needed to make constant visits to the doctor. That was the period when I had yet to learn Buddhism and was struggling to get over the most trivial thing, thinking that it was always the fault of others. Not surprisingly, whenever I confided in others, I would be reduced to tears.
It was only after encountering Guan Yin Citta and studying Buddhism in Plain Terms and putting its teachings into practice, I finally understood why small matters can snowball into a series of conflicts. It is due to the negative karmic affinity built up over one’s past lives. For you to be angered by this person in this life, you must have done the same to the person in your past life. With this in mind, I started to put the teachings into practice. In the past, I would fly into a rage the moment my mother-in-law uttered this catchphrase of hers, “I paid you to be married into this family, so you must take my instruction”.
I prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva to bless me so that I could remain composed even after being reprimanded by my mother-in-law. It was really difficult initially but after several attempts, I succeeded. I realise that for her to scold me is a reflection of her state of mind, but as long as I don’t take her criticism to heart, I will become more and more big-hearted.
It was only after my visits to the Practice Centre that I realised many fellow practitioners are exceptionally protective and loving towards the old folks. Such heart-warming gestures touched me deeply and drove me to tears. This set me thinking of my mother-in-law and I asked myself, “Why shouldn’t I be nice to her?” I started to repent to Bodhisattva, and personally met up with her to express my heartfelt apologies. The both of us ended up sobbing away but what’s more important was it has helped resolve a significant amount of our karmic conflicts.
In the past, each time she admonished someone, I would flee the scenes. My perspective towards her changed after my Buddhist practice. As and when she is enraged and turns verbally abusive, be it targeting me or others, I will take pity on her as deep down, I empathise with her as I believe something must be bothering her. After my Buddhist practice, I sense the transformation in me, even if others have not changed, it is the changes in me that matters.
My mother-in-law is now staying alone. As long as I am in Singapore, I will find time to bring her out for breakfast. To me, it is not that she needs me to be by her side, it is more to do with the fact that I feel good if I can be nice to her. She is now suffering from dementia and hence, she has the tendency to repeat the same thing over and over. Each time she asks me a question, I regard it as the first time she asks. I am really thankful because had it not been my spiritual cultivation, it would have been next to impossible for me to remain so patient. To say the least, I can’t be more grateful.
Honestly speaking, our children observe everything we parents do and say, so we must be good role models. I remember, once, I told my younger daughter that she should not leave any leftovers on her plate so that when she is old, she will always have food to eat just like her grandmother. To this, my daughter replied that grandmother always has food on her table because her son married a good wife.
I have learned a lot from other fellow practitioners during my volunteering work in the Practice Centre. I can tell that many of them are outstanding and capable. I, on the other hand, know nothing. Hence, I regard everyone of them as my teacher and I tell myself that I must learn from them. So many years of being a volunteer in the Practice has helped eliminate a significant portion of my karmic obstacles. On my way to the Practice Centre, my footsteps seem very light. I deeply cherish the Practice Centre even though I can only make it here once a week. Each time I visit my mother-in-law, I will regard it as performing volunteering work at the Practice Centre. Not surprisingly, every step that I take to bring her out for a meal is light and easy too.
Master Lu once said, “To learn Buddhism is to make positive changes to our health, our family life and everyone around us”. I take his advice very seriously. What can we do to make things better? It is when we can conduct ourselves like a Bodhisattva. If there are still obstructions to our cultivation, it is a manifestation of the force of our own karma.
This wraps up my personal experience and lessons acquired along my spiritual cultivation path.
If my sharing is improper in any way, I would like to seek forgiveness from Namo Shakyamuni Buddha, the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Dharma Protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
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