🗯️ Did you know?
A good attitude that admires the good of others can be a catalyst for one’s progress, but a negative one can turn admiration into hate?
Are you someone who:
🙋 feels miserable when others are being complimented?
🙋 likes to compare yourself with others?
🙋 resorts to self-praise as means to disparage others to show your superiority above others?
🙋 finds it difficult to give someone compliments?
If you answer ‘yes’ to any one of the above, you may be experiencing an emotion called jealousy.
We all know what the Buddha said about anger. But what did He say about jealousy and envy? These two complex emotions are simultaneously ubiquitous and invisible, they frequently visit us, but we are loath to admit to feeling them, aren’t we?
⛵️ From this week onwards, stay tuned to our daily posting as we share with you Master Lu’s view on this complex emotion and you will gain an understanding of how jealousy and envy quietly feed off our attachments and how we can ultimately overcome it.
🙏🏻With this series of discourses, we sincerely hope that you will come to terms with how you really feel about your friends’ good fortune from now on……
A GOOD ATTITUDE THAT ADMIRES THE GOOD OF OTHERS CAN BE A CATALYST FOR ONE’S PROGRESS, BUT A NEGATIVE ONE CAN TURN ADMIRATION INTO HATE
Caller: Lately, there is a popular proverbial saying on the internet that goes, “Envious-jealous-hateful (“羡慕嫉妒恨”)”. Master, can you enlighten us as to why we feel envious when we see others living a good life? Why does this feeling evolve into jealousy and ends with hatred?
Master Jun Hong Lu: This is exactly what I often say. To admire others is not a bad thing because with a positive mentality, envy can transform into a kind of power that spurs you on. However, with a negative mental state, envy will turn into hate. Jealousy, on the other hand, is definitely a word with a negative slant; in fact, it is a pejorative term (属于贬义词) because it will always end with hatred.
Caller: Yes, that’s right.
Master Jun Hong Lu: Never have I been jealous of anyone because in my view, no achievement comes easy and it is the fruit of one’s labour. Do you understand me?
Caller: Yes, I do. Thank you, Master.
Source: Wenda20151016 24:22, Master Jun Hong Lu’s call-in radio program
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING COMPETITIVE (好强) AND HAVING A STRONG SENSE OF PRIDE (好面子)
Caller: Some people have a strong sense of pride (好面子). They are fond of crafting the kind of life they want others to see. They tire themselves out with this conceited lifestyle. What’s the reason for people to go to such an extent?
Master Jun Hong Lu: A person’s sense of pride is one of the by-products of his jealousy and jealousy is inherent (与生俱来的) in mankind. It is one of the deep-rooted negative human characteristics.
Think about it, when you are jealous of someone, don’t you think there is an element of pride in it ? On that note, if you are not jealous of others, would you even have so much self-regard?
Caller: I see. That means, having a strong sense of pride in oneself is part of one’s competitive nature. Is that right?
Master Jun Hong Lu: Being prideful and competitive are different. Some people are unwilling to put in effort in the things they do but they care so much about how others look at them. That said, a person who is competitive is not necessarily prideful. In short, they are mutually exclusive. It is important to distinguish the positive traits from the negative ones.
Source: Wenda20180121A 29:03, Master Jun Hong Lu’s call-in radio program
TO BE JEALOUS IS FOOLISH
Master Jun Hong Lu: Let me use a magnifying glass to enlarge this feeling of jealousy in you. Once magnified, do you know what has become of you? You will realise how foolish you are. You are jealous of your colleague who makes you wonder, “Why is it that he deserves this, not me?”, “Why is it that her husband is rich, while mine is poor?” This is just a minor observation.
Now, let me continue to magnify the situation. Imagine you are jealous of someone like Li Ka Shing. By now, do you realise how foolish you are? You wonder, “Why is it that he is so wealthy, while I am penniless?” All that I do is just to magnify the matter in hand, and it will immediately hit you as to how foolish you are. Jealousy is a point in one’s ignorance (愚痴点).
Why is it referred to as ‘a point’? This is because things expand out from one point. At the initial stage, one may feel a mild sense of jealousy but later on it develops into a pervasive sense of jealousy.
Have you heard of a traditional Chinese stand-up comedy called ‘Pinkeye’? It is a play whose theme is on jealousy with its character perceiving everything as a cause for jealousy and desires to outdo everyone in everything. It gets so bad that the person will also be jealous of those whose blood pressure is higher than his. So, what could be the reason behind this phenomenon? This is because one’s visibility can be made obscure by ignorance that is capable of blinding a person to the extent that he fails to distinguish between good and evil, and this includes the inability to know what he should and shouldn’t have.
Source: Master Jun Hong Lu’s Buddhism In Plain Terms, Volume 9 Chapter 2
THE ROOT CAUSE OF JEALOUSY
Master Jun Hong Lu: Since time immemorial, jealousy has always been the largest character flaw of mankind. Why is it that every human has jealousy? This is because jealousy stems from the competitive drive to claim a certain level of right and benefit. It is an apathetic response we have towards those who are lucky, perceived to possess such luck that allows them to get what they want. Towards such lucky people, their counterparts may reject or turn hostile towards them.
Jealousy is a flaw that is so deeply rooted in our hearts that it is very difficult to eradicate. Everyone has this negative emotion. In fact, the majority of the people will be seething with jealousy when they see the success of others. When others are being complimented, they become miserable and deep down, they often wonder, “Why is it that it isn’t me, but him, who gets the praise?”
Some even resort to self-praise as a means to disparage others (自赞毁他). To show their superiority above others, they speak highly of themselves, while making the effort to put others down. Jealousy is a shortcoming that has existed since time immemorial, and is prevalent where humans exist. Jealousy is about creating obstacles for others from achieving success.
Source: Master Jun Hong Lu’s Buddhism In Plain Terms, Episode 40, 11 April, 2020
JEALOUSY BREEDS YOUR INNER DEMONS
Master Jun Hong Lu: Why do people with a strong desire to win (好胜心) tend to make good progress in the early stages of Buddhist practice? This is because in the beginning, they are using their competitive nature to desperately do what is needed to the extent of relinquishing many of their worldly possessions so that they are able to help sentient beings.
However, why do these people turn demonic subsequently? In the beginning, a competitive nature might not be a bad thing. Indeed, helping sentient beings is a deed with boundless merit.
Nevertheless, having accumulated some merits and the fact that they are diligent in their cultivation, these people may be given some important role to play and they are looked upon as a diligent spiritual cultivator who are adored by many. When this happens, they will slowly become arrogant and start looking down on others.
This is when they start to be full of themselves, thinking that they are so superior in their spiritual cultivation that everyone knows them. They forget who they are and they even think that they have attained Bodhisattva-hood. Even answering a phone call might bring out the arrogance in them.
After a while, jealousy will arise when they notice that others are outperforming them. They can never stand the idea that there is someone better than them.
When they see others are better than them, they will feel dejected. In their eyes, others can never be better than them, they can only be inferior to them. I am telling you all these to explain to you the reason behind people who turn demonic after some time into their spiritual practice.
Source: Master Jun Hong Lu’s Buddhism In Plain Terms, Volume 11 Chapter 50
STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Master Jun Hong Lu: Avoid making comparisons with one another because once you do, you are bound to feel jealous when you realise that you are not as good as others.
As one progresses in his spiritual cultivation, they must understand the importance of not harbouring any evil thoughts. Many people may ask, “What is evil thought?” Evil thoughts refer to improper intentions, speaking ill of others, being suspicious of others, and being jealous of others; all these are considered demonic and malicious thoughts (邪思邪念).
Source: Master Jun Hong Lu’s Buddhism In Plain Terms (Audio), Episode 52
DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM JEALOUSY, BE FREE FROM CONTENTION
Master Jun Hong Lu: If you are someone who still harbours jealousy towards others, it goes to show that you have yet to reach the state of self-liberation (还不能解脱出自己). This is the reason why I say this to many young Buddhist practitioners, “You must always remember – never be jealous of others, just work hard without thinking about the rewards (只管耕耘，不问收获). When we see others enjoying the fortune and virtue (福德) in their life, it is none of our business. We should not be jealous of them. This is because jealousy is a type of virus that will cause you to catch a flu or a cold that potentially will make you seriously ill. In fact, many serious illnesses stem from a cold or a flu”.
Assuming a person with a weak body constitution is hit by a virus. This may trigger a host of other pathogens, resulting in some other serious illnesses. That is why it is important for us to disentangle ourselves from the conflicts that we are embroiled in.
What should we rely on to resolve these disputes? It is through our ability to accord with conditions in dealing with them, just like how we should go with the flow in life and in our handling of matters. We should embrace the mindset that accepts whatever that we have today, and we are also able to accept the fact that there will be things that we will fail to obtain tomorrow.
This same mentality should be applied in our effort to help others to be spiritually awakened. If we are able to help them, we should do so. However, if we feel we are not able to, we should back-off. Be constantly connected to the wisdom and the light of the Buddha (要合光即悟). When we are constantly basked in the light of the Bodhisattva, and are in harmony with the Buddha, we will experience an instantaneous awakening.
Source: Master Jun Hong Lu’s Buddhism In Plain Terms, Volume 5 Chapter 17
THE RELUCTANCE TO COMPLIMENT OTHERS IS A SIGN OF ARROGANCE
Caller: Am I right to say that people do not like to give compliments because of their extreme arrogance?
Master Jun Hong Lu: That is for sure. When you say, “I simply don’t like to compliment others”, it is a sign of arrogance which, in a way, is also jealousy. As much as you may deny being jealous of others, I can confidently tell you that there is jealousy in you because your behaviour in itself generates the root cause of jealousy (嫉妒的根源).
If you see the good in others, why do you hesitate to compliment them? What’s wrong with praising others? Do you think that by saying good things about others means you are putting yourself down? It is so common these days for people to think that praising others implies their own inferiority complex. What kind of mentality is that?
What’s wrong with telling others they look good? What’s wrong with complimenting others for their dignified appearance? When you say, “Gosh, this child is so well-behaved”, “Wow, you are not only beautiful, you can sing really well”, what’s wrong with these compliments?
When you have a wholesome heart, everything that comes out of it is kind and beautiful. Conversely, if you are critical about everything around you, or if you are jealous of this and have hatred for that, all that is generated from your heart can only be bad vibes.
Caller: Actually, when we speak well of others, we will also feel happy because the joy that we bring to others will rub off on us.
Master Jun Hong Lu: Exactly! There may be times when you feel awkward and embarrassed when a specific person becomes the object of praise in a meeting. Let me share with you a very effective method to resolve this.
Give this a shot: Try speaking even more highly of the person. For example, you have always been the one being praised at your workplace, however, this time, people go, “So-and-so is awesome, he is such a…”. At this moment, you can sense that everyone is staring at you, which makes you feel, “Gosh, what a disgrace! He is so much better than me”. In psychology, this is known as “psychological relativity”.
Those words are targeted at the other person, but you perceive it to be directed at you. You turn red in the face from shame so much so that you were dying to think of something sarcastic to say which will obviously make things worse.
Let me teach you a method. The next time your superior compliments someone else instead of you, you should step forward, just like a boss, and say, “That’s true! Our manager is spot on in his assessment about so-and-so. Indeed, he is very outstanding in every single aspect of his work”. Once you say this, your state of mind is elevated and this will deter others from speaking ill of you.
Caller: I see.
Master Jun Hong Lu: This area is extensively covered in psychology studies. In fact, I’ve plans to allocate a session to focus on psychology.
Caller: That’s great. Thank you, Master.
Source: Wenda20170813A 57:40, Master Jun Hong Lu’s call-in radio program
THE CONSEQUENCES OF JEALOUSY
Caller: What are the karmic consequences of jealousy?
Master Jun Hong Lu: Being jealous of others will result in you being the target of envy, this is the first retribution. Secondly, harbouring jealousy erodes your wisdom over time. This is because your constant jealousy and your unwillingness to maintain positive relationships with others makes you unlikeable. In a nutshell, a jealous person is an unpopular individual. Over time, such an individual will lose their Buddha-nature and wisdom.
Source: Shuohua20170714 02:38, Master Jun Hong Lu’s call-in radio program
THE KARMIC EFFECTS OF JEALOUSY
Master Jun Hong Lu: The Buddha says, “Sentient beings who are habitually jealous of another person’s success, glory or the great respect others are showered with, and a sense of hatred out of jealousy takes root in them, their rebirth as humans will be marked by frail health. This stands as the karmic effect of their jealousy”.
Source: Wenda20180624B 29:05, Master Jun Hong Lu’s call-in radio program
AN EXTREME JEALOUS INDIVIDUAL WILL NEVER ACHIEVE SATISFACTORY SUCCESS
Master Jun Hong Lu: Individuals who are consumed by jealousy will never achieve any satisfactory success in their endeavours (得不到圆满的果实). Using past agricultural practice as a metaphor, it is impossible for them to have an abundant harvest. Assuming you cultivate corn as well as paddy and also vegetables. You will not register a bumper harvest for all your produce. In fact, there is bound to be one or two crops, whose harvest will disappoint. In modern-day language, individuals who are always jealous of others will never be able to achieve satisfactory achievement in life.
Source: Master Jun Hong Lu’s Buddhism In Plain Terms, Episode 84
WHAT MAKES A PERSON SUSCEPTIBLE TO JEALOUSY?
Caller: There are Buddhist friends who are always being misunderstood by others. They are kind-hearted people but for some reason, others don’t seem to be able to understand them. Could their plight be due to the jealousy of others towards them or their own karmic obstacles? Or could both factors play a role?
Master Jun Hong Lu: It is a manifestation of their own karmic obstacles. The third possibility is: If others are jealous of him, it is an indication that he hasn’t done enough at maintaining good relationships with people. One simple glance, an expression or a selfish action from them coupled with their lack of skills in connecting with others could invite jealousy.
Source: Wenda20180916B 37:36, Master Jun Hong Lu’s call-in radio program
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