TRANSITION FROM EXTERNAL TO INTERNAL FORBEARANCE
Caller: At the early stages of cultivating forbearance, we are mostly forbearing on the “outside” as the ability to forbear has yet to be internalised. As such, we may still feel unhappy and unwilling to endure the humiliation when conflict arises. Should we be natural and let our unhappiness be revealed or should we “digest” emotion and put up a happy front?
Master Jun Hong Lu: It is commendable that you have reached a state of cultivation where you are able to put up a front that is all smiles. However, a higher state of spirituality will be if you are able to completely transform your grievances. Being able to force a smile is way better than to pull a long face.
To be strong enough to laugh it off is also a form of cultivation. Though it may not help in transforming the situation nor solve the problem, it’s still better than putting on a fierce-looking face.
Caller: Understand.
Master Jun Hong Lu: Smiling is one way to resolve conflicts, while fierceness will only cause them to deepen. Smile. A fake smile is better than no smile. However, if you can manage a fake smile, why don’t you attempt a real one? The brightest smiles come after all conflicts are resolved. It can be awkward, or even appalling if you put up a good front that is all smiles. Some people look fine when they don’t smile but they look like they are crying when they do.
Caller: Will it be considered dishonest or insincere in this case?
Master Jun Hong Lu: On this path of spiritual cultivation, we undergo a continuous process of restraint and discipline, there is nothing insincere about it. When you say, “I am trying to change for the better, I am not there yet but I’m trying”. Would you consider this to be insincere?
For example, a young man with gambling addiction is now trying to overcome this addiction. When he sees slot machines, he says “I am not going there”. Would you consider him to be insincere? When he sees the machine, he is torn between getting to that machine and avoiding it. In this process, he is considered sincere because he is sincere in wanting to change himself for the better.
Caller: I understand now, it is a process of changing for the better.
Source: Shuohua20131227 17:15, Master Jun Hong Lu’s radio call-in program
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