Where do merit and virtue come from? Is it just about donating a bit of money? You need to get the concept straight. I’ve shared a story with you before: long ago, a poor woman gave the little savings she had to a temple. The abbot came out to meet her, treated her with great respect, and invited her to bow to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas with him. Because she consistently accumulated merit and virtue, she was later invited into the imperial palace. Years later, she returned to the temple and donated a huge sum of money, but the abbot didn’t come out to see her. Why? Because she had become arrogant—looking down on the temple and acting as if she were above everyone else, assuming her big donation meant she could dispense with courtesy and see the abbot whenever she wished. The truth is, the abbot already knew she no longer had merit and virtue—she was merely doing good deeds. So, what are merit and virtue? Merit comes from doing something with a sincere heart; virtue is when what you do truly helps others. When you act from the heart to benefit others, that’s true merit and virtue.
As Buddhists, you need a high level of awareness and you must ensure both merit and virtue are complete. You can’t lack either. If you’re constantly thinking, “I want to help her,” that intention in your heart is merit. But if you never act on it—never actually help anyone—you lack virtue. On the flip side, imagine someone who spends all day helping and caring for the elderly, but in their heart they’re thinking, “When this old person dies, maybe I’ll inherit a lot.” Their merit is gone—they’re just left with a good deed. Right? So you need both merit and virtue together. If you look down on others, you have no merit and virtue. If you dismiss people, avoid eye contact, or refuse to speak to them, you’re lacking merit and virtue. Got it? In the past, some people came here thinking they were superior because of their education or status, looking down on others. That’s a lack of merit and virtue. You have no right to belittle anyone. Even the Buddha said, “All beings possess Buddha-nature”—everyone is originally a Buddha. So what right do you have to look down on others? An awakened person would never do that. What’s more, if someone can’t even shed a tear, their heart is too hard—they lack compassion. A compassionate heart cannot be cruel. Cultivating your mind means cultivating your compassion—becoming kinder and more like a Bodhisattva who pities all beings. There’s a saying, “Real men don’t cry easily,” but that’s not true. Human beings have emotions and desires; we are meant to be kind. Just look at violent criminals who kill and set fires—they never cry. Even in prison, they laugh it off. Can someone like that be compassionate? Can they practise Buddhism? So never belittle or dismiss anyone’s Buddha-nature—that is how you avoid losing your own merit and virtue.
Always think of others, and you embody “non-self”. When your mind is often occupied with others, you have no time to think about yourself — that is what it means to be selfless. Letting go of yourself brings happiness; clinging to yourself brings trouble. Forget yourself, fill your mind with thoughts of others, and you’ll succeed. Thinking of others shows you have the capacity to help them. Many people only think about themselves, too caught up to care for anyone else. If you have a bit of strength, use it to help. If you have a single dollar, give that dollar to help. Always keep others in mind, without expecting anything in return. Look at me—I’ve received so much care from others precisely because I don’t dwell on what I’ll get back. I pour myself into my work at the radio station and online, tirelessly helping one person at a time, following Guan Yin Bodhisattva’s guidance every step of the way. Without Guan Yin Bodhisattva, where would we be? We give just a little, but the Bodhisattva gives us so much in return. You must understand this. That’s why you need to be selfless. In Buddhist terms, this is called “exchanging self for others.” In everyday words, it’s putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Sacrificing yourself is merit—forgetting yourself, giving up your own interests, that’s merit. Seeing everyone and everything as equal is virtue. When you treat all beings and all things as equal, you embody virtue.
Your heart should reflect the hearts of others. Constantly ask, “What is this person thinking?” and you’ll begin to understand their heart. For example, if you often wonder, “What does my husband think about what I’m doing?” you’ll start to grasp his perspective. Regard your heart as their heart, your body as their body—see them as equal, and you won’t fight. If your wife has back pain, wouldn’t you, as her husband, feel that pain in your heart too? If you feel it as if it were your own, you’ll quickly go and comfort her. Even if she’s irritable from the pain and snaps at you, you wouldn’t answer back. That’s the principle. Practising Buddhism is about sharpening your heart and mind, learning patience and tolerance, refining your conduct and cultivating your mind. Cultivating your own Buddha-nature is merit. What is your own Buddha-nature? It’s your innate goodness—your conscience. Cultivate your conscience. Using the Buddha’s heart to guide your actions is virtue. That means constantly measuring your conduct against the standards of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas. For example, if you steal, pick up money someone dropped, or do something wrong like hitting or cursing someone, and you don’t measure those actions against the standards of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, you’ll never have virtue.
Always remember: fighting is endless. Arguing with one person today and another tomorrow—it never stops. Whatever you gain from fighting is worthless. In the end, what’s the point? If you get caught up in conflict, your spiritual state drops and you open yourself up to the scorn of many. Good things don’t come from fighting; what you win through conflict isn’t truly yours. What comes naturally, in accordance with conditions, is what belongs to you. That’s why fighting has no end. Many issues resolve themselves with time. Take a husband and wife, for example. If they have a fierce quarrel and one insists, “You must explain this to me tonight—if you don’t, I’ll never let it go,” that kind of fight often ends in divorce. But if both sides show a bit of patience, the issue fades over time. Grit your teeth and endure, and eventually the problem disappears. That’s why patience has an end, while fighting has none. Once one side shows patience, the other naturally stops too. So patience is the best approach. The Buddha taught that Buddhism is a religion of non-contention. Why is Buddhism respected by so many? Because it avoids fighting. To engage in fighting is to depart from the path of Buddhism. Someone who is constantly quarrelling with everyone will not be well liked. You must understand this principle.