HOW SHOULD WE MAINTAIN PROPER DISTANCE WITH BUDDHIST FRIENDS WHOM WE INTRODUCE BUDDHISM TO?
Question: A Buddhist friend has been practising Guan Yin Citta for many years and has propagated the dharma to a few others. To strengthen the faith of new practitioners, this Buddhist friend has always closely followed up with them. However, after getting along for a few years, it appears that the focus of this group of practitioners is still very much on worldly matters. The differences in their line of thought and the level of spirituality are making communication increasingly difficult between them.
They fail to agree on the way to go about their spiritual cultivation and their understanding of the Buddhist teachings, and this has negatively impacted the Buddhist friend. In light of this, this Buddhist friend wishes to keep some distance from this group of people, but he has been criticised for ‘putting his own safety over matters of principle’. How should this Buddhist friend manage the relationship with this group of practitioners?
Answer: First and foremost, a Buddhist practitioner should not be arrogant, thinking, “My spiritual cultivation is superior to yours”. You are not even supposed to say things like, “I’m cultivating Theravada Buddhism, while he is cultivating Mahayana Buddhism”. This is because Theravada Buddhism lays the foundation for Mahayana Buddhism which explains why, “One should help oneself before helping others”.
It’s alright for you to tell others, “Given that my spiritual cultivation is still less than ideal, I will work hard on myself first before reaching out to more sentient beings in the future”. It’s important to be very polite with others, and keep the communication open. After all, practising Buddhism is about being sensible and to understand one’s mind and see one’s true nature.
If you do not even have the nature of the Buddha, and are unwilling to interact with other Buddhist friends, it means you have deviated in your practice. No one will be able to justify it by saying, “I do not wish to be around others because I am doing very well in my spiritual cultivation”.
Remember that a Bodhisattva is a sentient being who has gained wisdom, while sentient beings are Bodhisattvas who have yet to gain wisdom. People are ultimately the same regardless of how well they practise. It is only their level of practice that differs.
Let go of your ego and learn to get along well with others. This is what it means by ‘to emulate the compassion of the Buddha’.
Source: Master Jun Hong Lu’s World Buddhist Fellowship Meeting (Q&A Session) – Question 24, Jakarta, Indonesia, 20 April 2017
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