Good afternoon all Buddhist friends. After listening to the sharing on the importance of letting go from the heart, I feel the need to share my experience because this is a topic that deeply resonates with me. I believe that if not for this understanding, I wouldn’t be able to manage my biggest life challenge, that is, the health of my son.
I started practising Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door in 2017. At that time, I had a good life without many problems and I only practised Buddhism because I wanted to learn a proper way to pray.
One year after I started my practice, I noticed my son suffered from frequent falls. My husband and I thought it was normal, but we brought him to see the doctor. As he was always having difficulty squatting, the doctor suggested that we do a DNA test. When the result came out, my whole life crumbled. My son was diagnosed with a critical illness called Muscular Dystrophy which is a rare and life threatening disease. I still remember the day in the doctor’s office, when my son told me, “Mommy I don’t want to die”.
It was devastating for me because according to medical science, this disease was passed down from the mother. I was so angry with myself for doing this to my only child. I hated myself for sowing the seeds of negative karma and now my son has to suffer this retribution. I hated this world for being unfair – I thought, of all people, “WHY ME?”
During a drive back home from the doctor’s office one day, I listened to a recording of Buddhism in Plain Terms. The topic that day was about death. Master Lu said that nobody can avoid death. We need to accept this fact. I do not know why I felt so strongly about this, but at that very moment, I prayed to Guan Yin Bodhisattva and told Her that I will LET GO and I will leave my son to Her. I am willing to accept what my karma serves me. Surprisingly, after saying that, I felt a kind of strength in me that made me very resolute to help my son through the Three Golden Buddhist Practices.
Through letting go, I managed to pick myself up. I also changed my mentality about my son’s illness. I have totally embraced the fact that everyone needs to die one day or another. Even if I can’t save my son now, at least I can help him to go to a better place when he dies with the Three Golden Buddhist Practices. I felt liberated the minute that I developed this Right View.
Just as Buddhist friends shared earlier, letting go REALLY does not mean giving up. Personally, my letting go is based on the realisation that there is a reason that me and my son need to endure this karma. I will leave it to Bodhisattva to arrange everything, without insisting that my son has to recover or not. I prayed to Bodhisattva, if my son needs to suffer through illness to help others understand the law of causation, I will accept it. At the same time, I diligently recite Buddhist scriptures, make vows, perform life liberation and study Master Lu’s Buddhism in Plain Terms.
I find that with this view of letting go, I feel emotionally lighter and I am able to do what I need to do to help my son more effectively. Through letting go I find the strength to move on bravely along this path.
A Buddhist friend mentioned last week that “we must have pure faith”. Indeed, Bodhisattva is really listening to all our prayers. Besides his illness, my son was faced with another problem. In 2019, he was supposed to sit for his Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE). He didn’t have much time to study as he spent a bulk of his time occupied with therapy, and also did not have the mood to study because of his condition. I prayed to Bodhisattva to teach me how else I can help my son to do well in his studies. That very same day at the practice centre, I really felt another blessing from Bodhisattva. I found the answer to how I could help my son with his exam. A Buddhist friend explained to me how reciting the Self-Cultivation Record Forms of the Cundi Dharani can help children with exams. I did as I was told, and prayed to Bodhisattva so that all will go smoothly for him. I also performed life liberation.
I am grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva as he actually scored very well for his exams, and was even eligible to apply for the best school around our area. However, we could only choose a school with lifts due to his condition. Although he eventually entered the Normal Technical (NT) stream in a very good school around our area, he was offered a few subjects at Normal Academic level since he scored above average.
From this, I truly feel that behind every sad story there will be something sweet that Bodhisattva arranges for us and that Bodhisattva will always have the best arrangement. We do not have to tell Bodhisattva what we want, how we want it or when we want it to happen. Just let go because like what Master Lu said in the Public Talk held in Malaysia 2015:
When we clasp your palms tight there is nothing in our hands,
When we open our palms wide, the whole world is in our hands.
Thank you to all Buddhist friends for listening to my little sharing.
Deepest gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Deepest gratitude to all Dharma Protectors!
If my sharing today is improper in any way, I seek forgiveness from Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, as well as Heavenly Dharma Protectors.
Deepest gratitude to all
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