Remember: you must often contemplate “non-self” (anātman). This means letting go of the ego. When you accomplish something, think, “Oh, it wasn’t me—it was my colleague’s effort. I’m so grateful to them.” Or, “This wasn’t my doing; it was everyone working together.” Non-self is about erasing the idea of “self” and recognising that nothing revolves around you. Often reflect: “I haven’t done much; what virtues or abilities do I truly have? I am insignificant.” From an airplane, humans look smaller than ants, and cars resemble tiny specks. When the Bodhisattvas see us quarrelling or insulting one another, it’s like us watching ants fighting. Let me tell you something else: even within marriage, there must be restraint. Overindulging in physical intimacy is what animals do. If humans behave like animals, they become no different from them. There’s a saying: “Engage in animal acts, and you’ll develop animal thoughts.” Repeatedly indulging in such behaviours warps the mind, shifting it from upright thinking to deviant thinking. Look at those people driven by lust and how they behave towards young girls. Such thoughts instantly degrade your character and make you lose others’ respect. A person must understand the importance of self-respect and self-love.
It’s important to develop deeper insights when practising Buddhism. Your appearance should inspire reverence, just like the serene and dignified atmosphere of the Guan Yin Hall—this reflects the concept of “Adorning the Buddha’s Pure Land.” Look at Guan Yin Bodhisattva—doesn’t her presence inspire deep respect? Now, imagine some older men staring at young women with lustful eyes; it’s utterly disgraceful. A Buddhist practitioner must never behave like that. Women, too, should carry themselves with dignity in how they look at others. Your gaze should be steady and respectful, not wandering or frivolous. The way you look at others matters—it’s an important form of etiquette. People can easily see where your eyes are focused, and where you look reflects your character. If your gaze is inappropriate, others will immediately view you as someone lacking refinement. The eyes are the windows to the soul. If your gaze lingers where it shouldn’t, others will instantly sense vulgarity. Practising Buddhism means cultivating dignity, improving your character, and embodying virtues like benevolence, righteousness, propriety, wisdom, and trustworthiness. Whether you earn respect depends on your actions, not on pretense. So, cultivate well—you’ve got a long way to go.
You must often contemplate “non-self.” Before and after birth, is there really a “me”? Think about it: you’re born—who are you? When you first came into this world, did you know who you were? By the time you’re five or six, you start to feel a sense of self, a place in your family. And when you die, who will you be then? Today, you have a name, but after death, will that name still matter? It may exist on a gravestone, but your life as it is now will be over. It’s like a fleeting visit—a short trip in this world, and then it’s gone. What are you doing with your days? Every day you live, remind yourself: I own nothing. I came into this world with nothing, and I will leave with nothing. I do not fight for fame or profit. Money holds no allure for me, nor does material gain. If I don’t even own myself, what fame or wealth is there to fight for? The less you fight for fame and profit, the more at ease you will feel. With fewer desires, you’ll live freely and naturally. What does it mean to live freely? It means to remain as you truly are. All possessions, even if you seem to own them, are only temporarily entrusted to you. For example, before you die, your house might be in your name. But after you’re gone, won’t it belong to your children? So, is it truly your house? No, it’s not. Who really owns it—you or your children? Can you own everything? Can you own anything forever?
Stop overthinking and learn to let go. Everyone in the audience should reflect deeply: why do I painstakingly explain these truths day after day? Yet even now, you’re still lost in your own thoughts, clinging to personal concerns. It’s truly a pity. Temporary ownership inevitably passes to others—that’s not true possession. Therefore, you must learn to practise patience. In life, we face setbacks, slander, and adversity. To confront all of this, we must cultivate patience. What is patience? It is a high level of understanding, a Bodhisattva’s state. A person who can endure demonstrates great character. If someone argues with you and you don’t argue back, you are displaying refinement. Whether man or woman, lashing out after being insulted shows a lack of cultivation. If criticism causes you to lose composure, it’s a sign of poor self-discipline. For instance, if someone says, “You’re so rich,” and you immediately show off your wealth, that’s a lack of refinement. Or if someone compliments your beauty, and you flaunt it, dressing up and applying makeup to attract more attention—that’s also a lack of cultivation. I often tell you to remain unmoved by external circumstances. A person of high level of understanding remains unaffected—whether others praise or criticise them, it makes no difference to their inner peace.
Everyone must remember the concept of “Forbearance to Non-Arising Dharmas” (anutpattikadharmakṣānti). What does “non-arising” or “unproduced” mean? It means not even having the thought or intention to endure. “Forbearance to the dharmas” in this sense refers to the endurance of the Dharma Realm. If I have no sense of needing to endure, what is there to endure? If someone criticises me, I don’t get angry. If someone speaks ill of me, I simply see it as their opinion—how does it affect me? Why should I let it upset me? Let me share a humorous story. There was a man full of self-importance who walked into a company. When asked, “Who are you?” he arrogantly replied, “You don’t even know who I am?” The others concluded he was mentally unstable, as he didn’t even seem to know himself. His ego was inflated with a sense of fame that didn’t exist. The root of this issue lies in overestimating oneself. For example, “I’ve never made mistakes before. I’ve always been a leader. I’ve done so much in the past…” Well, your past is exactly that—your past. It’s over. If you cling to your past titles and try to revive them, you’re only showing a lack of reason and wisdom.
Misguided Buddhist practice can lead to mental instability. When demons take hold, a person might act irrationally, imagining they’ve achieved something extraordinary. They may have read numerous Buddhist texts and can quote teachings convincingly, yet they use the Buddha’s words to criticise others. True Buddhism does not attack or harm others. Anyone using Buddhism to hurt others has strayed from the path. This is why it’s essential to practise “Forbearance to Non-Arising Dharmas.” While I may need to endure, I don’t even give rise to the thought of enduring. True forbearance means there’s no sense of needing to endure—this is non-arising forbearance, the essence of forbearance to the dharmas. Many people think, “I must endure. I’m a Buddhist practitioner; I have to endure. Insult me, hit me—I’ll endure it.” But this isn’t the highest level of understanding. If you are truly skilful, then you won’t even feel insulted when someone insults you. Instead, you’ll see it as an opportunity for growth—a stepping stone to elevate your spiritual level. Their insults become a source of motivation for your progress. If someone criticises you, listen to it. If it’s valid, make changes; if not, use it as motivation to do better. After all, how often do you come across someone on the street who criticises you for no reason? If someone at home does, take it as a chance to enhance your state of understanding.
This form of endurance transcends the sense of enduring—it’s a kind of forbearance to the dharmas. After each Dharma Talk, I often hear people say, “Master was focusing on me today.” Everyone assumes my talk was directed at them. But I’m merely addressing general phenomena, not anyone specifically. If you feel targeted, it’s your own thoughts taking hold, making you uncomfortable. Some disciples even come to me and ask, “Master, were you talking about me today?” This is a case of overthinking and self-centredness. If the self doesn’t exist, what is there to be upset about? I don’t get angry because I’ve let go of the “self.” The real trouble lies in the “I.” Many people struggle with thoughts like, “I can’t endure this anymore!” This “I” is the root of so much suffering. Let go of the “I”! Forgetting the self is the key to elevating your level of understanding. Without the self, you won’t get angry, lose your temper, or succumb to greed, hatred, and ignorance. Throughout history, countless lives have been lost over something as trivial as saving face. Today, many people participate in motorbike races knowing they might not return. They risk their lives for the sake of pride. This obsession with pride often leads to tragedy.
I teach you to practise Buddhism by letting go of the self and disregarding face or pride. When I criticise one thing or another, it’s to help you learn endurance. Ultimately, you should cultivate to reach the state of “Forbearance to Non-Arising Dharmas.” The barrier to elevating your level of understanding is like a wall. My goal is to help you break down this wall, as it obstructs your wisdom. This process may feel painful, but you must learn to endure. Remember: not retaliating or responding with harsh words is also a form of endurance. There are two situations where endurance is especially difficult. The first is in a marriage. The karmic debts between husband and wife often span several lifetimes, and when arguments arise, the anger can be overwhelming. This kind of anger is particularly hard to endure. If you can endure the anger that arises between husband and wife, you’ve achieved something remarkable. Endurance in marriage is among the most challenging of all. The second is in workplace relationships. Endurance in a professional setting, where people must interact, is equally difficult. Shifts in your environment can stir internal emotions. At home, the challenge lies in marital relationships, but in workplaces or public spaces, interacting with others is even harder. Arguments and conflicts occur everywhere—not because of language differences, but because the external environment reflects karmic obstacles accumulated over many lifetimes. What I’m sharing with you is the philosophy of life and the Dharma of life. Once you understand these two most challenging forms of endurance, start practising them at home. If your husband criticises you, it doesn’t matter—endure it. If you can endure the hardest challenges, you can endure anything. Suppress your impulses until, eventually, there’s nothing left to suppress. I don’t even feel anger anymore—that’s just how I am. People say to me, “Master, please forgive me. I was wrong. I apologise to Guan Yin Bodhisattva.” With that, all troubles vanish. Otherwise, if you can’t let go and anger builds, doesn’t that make you feel worse?
I am a Bodhisattva and can forgive you. But forgiveness is a response to your actions. If you sincerely seek my forgiveness, I will forgive you. However, if you don’t seek forgiveness and remain arrogant, then next time, don’t come back. Isn’t this something you’ve brought upon yourself? Remember, letting go of the self is crucial. Relationships with leaders, colleagues, and even among different races can be challenging to manage. If you eliminate the self, you can attain “Forbearance to Non-Arising Dharmas.” For example, if you see someone with a different skin colour and develop discrimination, this reflects inequality within yourself. If most people in society show respect across races and cultures, why shouldn’t you extend the same respect to everyone? This is human nature: a lack of deeper understanding often leads to behaviour that resembles animals. While humans are considered more advanced than other animals, they are still animals. Therefore, the goal is to cultivate the state of a Bodhisattva while living in the Human Realm. As an analogy, in university, a lecturer remains a lecturer, even if they are a senior lecturer—they haven’t reached the level of a professor.
Keep in mind: the past is unattainable, the present is unattainable, and the future is also unattainable. These are the “unattainable minds.” What does it mean to have an unattainable mind? It means your mind becomes non-existent, so is the concept of “self.” Your mind is no longer swayed by external circumstances. It becomes as if it doesn’t exist, which is a higher state of being. For example, when people line up to buy a special discounted item, a person with an unattainable mind feels no desire or impulse to participate. Whether they get the item or not is irrelevant to them. They have no desire, anger, or ignorance—what remains is only their conscience. Let me share this with you: people who achieve the state of “non-self” truly realise “non-self.” In other words, they no longer cling to the concept of “self.” Once your state is elevated, you have no sense of “self”. For example, “I’m no longer angry. I’ve figured it out—I’m not that important. If people criticise me, let them. If they don’t want me to do something, I won’t do it.” When you desire nothing from others, your mind is free of attachment.