Patience can be divided into three types. The first type is enduring harm caused by others. You must be able to endure slander, harm, and insults directed at you. When others speak badly of you, grit your teeth and refuse to believe or accept it. If you take in the harm others inflict on you, you’re actually doing yourself a disservice. If someone says insulting or hurtful things and you allow it to affect you, aren’t you only harming yourself? Young people, remember this: when couples argue and exchange hurtful words, don’t let those words linger in your ears. What’s the point of listening to them? I’ve repeatedly told you—taking in such words only leads to affliction. You have access to such wonderful Buddhist teachings and profound human wisdom—why not apply them to your daily life? Even if you learn them well, they are useless if you don’t put them into practice.
Patience leads to a pure and peaceful mind, making it easier to achieve concentration. After enduring a situation, your mind can settle. For example, when a couple argues, if one person chooses to be patient, that person’s mind can remain calm. If you don’t argue back, no matter how much the other person provokes you, you stay composed while they lose control. If you cannot practise patience, you will react impulsively, and such reactions often lead to undesirable consequences. Succeeding in spiritual practice requires patience. Those who can endure will receive the greatest blessings. Let me share a simple example: On a crowded bus, a man accidentally stepped on a woman’s foot. Naturally, the woman had every right to scold him. Indeed, she began lashing out at him relentlessly, but the man kept apologising, saying, ‘I’m sorry’ repeatedly. Yet the woman refused to let up. At this point, another passenger intervened, saying, “Why are you being like this? He’s already apologised, and you’re still not letting it go.” Others on the bus agreed, criticising the woman instead. As a result, the man—despite being in the wrong initially—ended up gaining support. This is his blessing. Therefore, if you are in the right, you should still be accommodating. If you refuse to accommodate even when you are right, you lose people’s goodwill. And if you are in the wrong, you should concede all the more. You should be humble and yielding, whether you’re right or wrong.
The second type of patience is enduring the changes of nature. What are natural changes? These include changes in weather—when it gets cold or hot, and you can’t bear it, it shows a lack of cultivation. Monks and nuns meditating never interrupt their practice just because they feel cold and need to put on a jacket. Could you manage that? You must also endure thirst, a dry mouth, and even natural disasters. When disasters strike, some people lose their homes and cannot cope, sometimes even resorting to suicide. For example, there was someone who lived opposite a factory where machines ran from 8 am to 5 pm, creating unbearable noise. Unable to endure it, he tragically took his own life. This is the sad consequence of failing to endure. Life requires us to cultivate all kinds of patience. Look at you disciples, sitting here quietly and attentively, listening to my Dharma Talk—that’s excellent. But if you become distracted by thirst or other minor discomforts, it shows a lack of patience. Do you know how monks train their patience? Have you seen the movie Shaolin Temple? Carrying water buckets while standing motionless is part of their physical endurance training. There’s also mental endurance. When senior monks or Dharma masters scold or criticise you, it’s not because they are being harsh—it’s to help you adapt to changes in the natural environment. They place you in challenging situations to cultivate your ability to endure. Only through endurance can you achieve inner stability.
Anger arises when a person lacks patience. When someone bullies, insults, or deceives you, grit your teeth and endure it—you will develop concentration. If you can’t sit still and become angry, it will harm your health. Remember this: no matter the discomfort of heat or cold, the challenges of the external environment, or the insults from others, you must learn to endure. Many young people argue at home simply because they lack patience. When someone lashes out at you, it’s OK to think of them as temporarily out of their mind. This way, you won’t get angry, and you can use Buddhist teachings to resolve the situation. What I mean is, don’t let the external environment seep into your inner mind. Treat everyone with patience and avoid speaking impulsively. If you cultivate sincerely, you can forget all worldly troubles. If you mistake this illusory world for reality, you won’t be able to let go of it. Can anyone truly achieve perfection in this Human Realm? From childhood to now, has there been a single thing in your life that went absolutely perfectly? In this world, there will always be some regret left behind. It’s simply part of life.
In the Human Realm, there is no such thing as true perfection. Why is that? Let me give you an example: when we say, “The conference concluded successfully,” it actually refers to a temporary sense of perfection. In the grand scheme of your life, you’re still far from perfect. Do you understand? Some people stand on a stage, waving to tens of thousands of people, delivering speeches that are eloquent and convincing. Yet, when they return home, they’re slapped by their wife—can that be called perfection? I’m telling you, there is no perfection in life. True perfection comes when your journey in this world ends. That’s when you can truly call it complete—when you draw a full stop, leave the Human Realm, and ascend to the Heavens. I’ve told you many times: I can’t afford to be frequently angry. Do you understand? And you shouldn’t be frequently angry either. If you constantly give in to anger, the place you’ll go after this life won’t be a good one.
I treasure relationships deeply. Sometimes I vent my frustrations and share them with my disciples. When I see you falling short, I feel frustrated and let it out—but once I’ve said it, I let it go. I often reflect and feel sorry for those I haven’t been able to save. I frequently think about old classmates and friends who had strong Buddhist roots but missed the chance to learn because, at that time, I hadn’t developed the spiritual power I have now. Back then, Guan Yin Bodhisattva had not yet manifested through me. If those people were with me now, things would be entirely different—I would have saved them. A person must have a conscience, be rational, and be willing to give selflessly. In this world, no banquet lasts forever; everything eventually comes to an end.
The third type of patience is practising patience in cultivating the mind and practising Buddhism. It’s never too late to succeed, as long as you cultivate sincerely. Are you sitting here listening? Does it feel uncomfortable? Do you want to stand up and move around but resist the urge? That is patience. When you’ve been sitting for a long time, do you feel like drinking water? Sometimes, when you hear me say something, do you feel an urge to respond? That’s also patience. There were times when I was wrong in pointing out mistakes made by disciples, and I observed whether the disciples would be upset. Even if I was wrong in what I said, a disciple would bow and remind themselves, “Yes, I must be mindful.” That is cultivation. Always arguing, snapping back, or pointing out others’ mistakes at every opportunity is not cultivation. Cultivating the mind is about correcting your own faults. What is there to justify? This world is illusory—a temporary combination of Yin, Yang, and the Five Elements. All things shall pass. Even if I am wrong in pointing out your problems, learn to practise patience. Do I correct all the listeners on my radio program? No, I don’t, and I wouldn’t want to because many of them are not yet on the path of cultivation.
You’re here to cultivate sincerely. If you cultivate to a certain level, your family life will improve, and as your family life improves, so will your overall well-being. Cultivating the mind is hard work, and it requires patience. Many husbands say to their wives, “Why do you bother going to listen to this stuff? What’s the point?” Their words create negative karma, but you still need to endure it. Patience means enduring all forms of insult. For example, when you face difficulties in practising Buddhism, or when others criticise or insult you, you must endure. Tell yourself, “I know I am on the right path. Guan Yin Bodhisattva is helping me, and I have already benefited—I am better now.” When others speak badly of you, don’t retaliate. Practise patience. Some of you may have husbands or wives who haven’t awakened yet, and this is the result of past causes. Perhaps your actions and words don’t reflect the qualities of someone cultivating the mind and practising Buddhism, which makes them doubt your sincerity. People judge Buddhism based on your behaviour. How many times have arguments included lines like, “You’re supposed to be a Buddhist, you even recite scriptures, and yet you’re always yelling at me”? Many men who practise Buddhism hear their wives say, “Don’t act like that—you’re supposed to be cultivating your mind!” And when the husband hears this, he realises, “Yes, I shouldn’t act this way because I’m a Buddhist.”
A person must practise self-discipline and cultivate sincerely. Cultivation requires patience. Before you attain the joy of the Dharma, you may feel lost and frustrated. What is Dharma joy? It’s when you achieve what you’ve been seeking—better health, improved mental clarity, or finding a job. That’s Dharma joy. It’s like driving: if you want to reach Canberra but don’t know the way, you’ll feel lost. Cultivating the mind is similar. If your prayers and recitations don’t seem to work, it’s because your cultivation is not yet on track, like losing your direction. But if you can endure and find the right path—getting onto the highway to Canberra—you’ll encounter no further obstacles. The hardest part is before you find the path. At the beginning of your cultivation journey, you may lack confidence and wonder, “Does it really work? Maybe I’ll just give it a try first.” This uncertainty reflects that you haven’t yet found the path. If your recitations and offerings of incense feel ineffective, it’s because you lack confidence. Without confidence, you’ll never find this bright and promising path, nor will you advance along it without obstacles. All these metaphors I share hold meaning. Cultivating the mind is like this—bitter at first, sweet later. You must put in the effort. Only those who can endure can succeed in Buddhist practice. Without patience, diligent progress is impossible.