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THOSE WHO VOW TO OBSERVE THE FIVE BUDDHIST PRECEPTS BUT STILL MAINTAIN AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR SPOUSES ARE UNABLE TO TRANSCEND THE SIX REALMS OF EXISTENCE DUE TO THEIR LOW LEVEL OF SPIRITUALITY

15/05/2022 | About Making Great Vows    
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Master Jun Hong Lu’s Discourse
(Question 354)
28 December 2019

THOSE WHO VOW TO OBSERVE THE FIVE BUDDHIST PRECEPTS BUT STILL MAINTAIN AN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR SPOUSES ARE UNABLE TO TRANSCEND THE SIX REALMS OF EXISTENCE DUE TO THEIR LOW LEVEL OF SPIRITUALITY

Question: In the past, I had always thought that physical intimacy between married couples was not considered sexual misconduct. Hence, I made a vow of abstaining from sexual misconduct.

In a discourse dated 15 December, Master mentioned that it is not recommended for married couples, who still maintain an intimate relationship, to make vows to observe the Five Buddhist Precepts. This is because the Underworld will record each time these sexual acts take place which could bring harm upon their spouses. The problem is my husband has yet to practise Buddhism and hence, physical intimacy is unavoidable. I became very anxious after hearing what Master said. What should I do now?

Answer: It is not a big problem. I mentioned this before: For those, who are not there yet in their level of spirituality, physical intimacy between married couples can still be considered normal and hence, do not be overly worried about it. However, if you are someone who leads a celibate life or has made a vow to be one, you are not allowed to perform such acts anymore.

For those who vow to adhere to the Five Buddhist Precepts, including abstinence from sexual misconduct, it is still alright to have physical intimacy with their spouses, as long as they do not mess around outside. This is for cases where the bar is set low.

In the event that the bar is set higher, from a Buddhism standpoint, sexual intimacies, other than that to bear an offspring, are all considered sexual misconduct. This is because these acts are approached from a different mindset – these are not wholesome acts to begin with. In a nutshell, it all depends on one’s level of spirituality.

If one maintains sexual relationship with one’s spouse, as long as he does not commit any evil deeds, it is still possible for this person to be reborn as a human. That said, it would be hard for him to transcend the six realms of existence due to his low level of spirituality.

On the flip side, if you are a Bodhisattva, a monastic or a Buddhist practitioner with an elevated state of mind, you must abstain from such acts. The same applies to those who have made vows to lead a celibate life – regardless if you are a couple – sexual acts are an absolute no-no, as it is considered as sexual misconduct.

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